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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the peak of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your decision to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately kill any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {